Playboy struggles (in the no pun zone)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: As I was conducting online research for this post, I felt underwhelmed by the work of overzealous headline writers worldwide. So please appreciate that I have refrained from employing painful Playboy puns (but I have given readers the opportunity to use their verbal imagination).

Most traditional media are struggling to give themselves a digital makeover for an increasingly Web-dominated market, and Playboy Enterprises is certainly no exception. Give Playboy credit for trying, though.

A Playboy Digital subscription costs only $12 for 12 issues, the same as the print edition. At that price, is it possible to convince my wife that I would only subscribe for Playboy Digital’s literary value?

Last year, the company began promoting (notice that I will NOT distract readers by providing a direct dot-com link here) playboyu.com as a social networking platform catering to college students. The site discourages nudity and encourages school pride (insert your favorite tasteless pun about sex education here).

Now Playboy is searching for models in financial distress to pose for an upcoming feature on the “Women of Wall Street” (resist urge to insert financially related sexual pun here).

Despite Playboy’s efforts, the bottom line still looks bleak. In fact, several online posts report that bunnies are being sacked. (If these reports are true, then the past-tense verb in the previous sentence does not count as a sexual pun.)

THE VERDICT: UNPLUG – A bear (not bare) market offers little hope for Playboy bunnies. (oops)